Ten ways to kill a conversation …

There are many ways that we can disengage another buy applying conversation-killing habits. Oftentimes we don’t even know that we have reduced the engagement. The secret element of connection with another person is attention. Not just any attention – authentic attention on them for them.

Each of the conversation killers listed below act in some way to drain your available attention, or allow you to use the available attention for yourself, not the other person.

Killer #1: Distraction: attention on your own thinking, activities or needs.

Killer #2: Assumption: assuming where the conversation is going, what they need or finishing sentences for them.

Killer #3: Judgement: making value judgements on them, their thinking or actions

Killer #4: Interruption: not allowing them to finish

Killer #5: Not listening to them: listening for your chance to say something, listening to yourself

Killer #6: I have the answer: a common form of assumption

Killer #7: You must be wrong: a common form of judgement

Killer #8: Total Control: you need to steer where the conversation goes

Killer #9: Dominate: you do more talking than listening

Killer #10: Focus on yourself: you are more concerned for your outcomes than theirs

Ways to combat these conversation killers can be found in the book “The Success Zone“.