Great Hollywood Teachers
What great movies about teachers come to mind? Dead Poet’s Society, Mr Holland’s Opus, and, strangely enough, School of Rock are some that people mention to me, and all have a consistent theme or storyboard:
- Students with some sot of disengagement, or social or other disadvantage
- Most, if not all other teachers not connecting, caring or (most importantly) believing in the said students
- The eccentric, out of the box or even accidental teacher believing in, listening to, challenging and yet unconditionally respecting the students
- Hitherto disengagement is replaced with inspiring outcomes
As Hollywood as this is, it is a formula still replicated in schools around the world. By enlarge, and in spite of working as hard as ever, large numbers of teachers are crunching curriculum crowding, battling behaviour and facing decreasing time resources.
This is not the fault of teachers: indeed, school systems currently act to disengage teachers from students what with the intensity of curriculum measurement and accountability. Still, about 5% of teachers are able to replicate the Hollywood greats with a strong sense of presence and connection with students. Listening to, unconditionally respecting and believing in students.
It’s more than a shame that it remains so few – it’s a tragedy. Our world is starving for engagement, for engagement is the key to managing the complex and time-critical learning needed in our fast changing (and seemingly, degrading) world.
Ten ways to kill a conversation …
There are many ways that we can disengage another buy applying conversation-killing habits. Oftentimes we don’t even know that we have reduced the engagement. The secret element of connection with another person is attention. Not just any attention – authentic attention on them for them.
Each of the conversation killers listed below act in some way to drain your available attention, or allow you to use the available attention for yourself, not the other person.
Killer #1: Distraction: attention on your own thinking, activities or needs.
Killer #2: Assumption: assuming where the conversation is going, what they need or finishing sentences for them.
Killer #3: Judgement: making value judgements on them, their thinking or actions
Killer #4: Interruption: not allowing them to finish
Killer #5: Not listening to them: listening for your chance to say something, listening to yourself
Killer #6: I have the answer: a common form of assumption
Killer #7: You must be wrong: a common form of judgement
Killer #8: Total Control: you need to steer where the conversation goes
Killer #9: Dominate: you do more talking than listening
Killer #10: Focus on yourself: you are more concerned for your outcomes than theirs
Ways to combat these conversation killers can be found in the book “The Success Zone“.