The irony of influence…

bigstockphoto_Barack_Obama_3815808Most people I know would like to think that they are influential. Anything from being able to influence the decisions of their children to wanting to influence whole populations. You may not want to be a President or Prime Minister, but what would being able to influence others more effectively be worth to you? How would it change your world?

The thing is, the more you try to influence, the less you actually influence. Influence is passive, not active. It emerges more from who you are and what you do (which stems from who you are) than what you say. Take, as an example, the person who has influenced me most this year. Matt Church is a Sydney based entrepreneur, author and public speaker. His message, his content is first class. His influence comes not from the quality of his content, but his attitudes and behaviours. Indeed, his content is validated by his authenticity. Through this combination of a powerful message and high integrity, I learn much more than his content. I learn from his generosity, from his family and community orientation, and I learn from his commitment to adding value to others.

Your most influential teacher will have had this dual ‘channel’ of connection: great content/content delivery and great people engagement skills. Like Matt, the clarity of integrity allows them to listen, believe in, unconditionally respect (or love) and challenge. One of the quickest and most effective ways to create ‘influence capital’ with others is to listen well. We use optimistic and observational listening as training models to help others re-learn their listening skills for greater influence.

Influence can only be achieved by consistency, integrity and unconditional respect. Trying to influence is really only coercion. Are you a coercer or an influencer?

Love is blind, they say, but what about anger?

3407364408_4e5111a739When were you last in your own “heat of the moment”? Take a minute to remember this state. Was your attention tightly focused on the object of your ‘heat’, or did you have wide peripheral vision? Was you thinking, similarly, broad or narrow?

For most people, their Red Zone causes a narrowing of awareness in more than one dimension. Think of being in your Red Zone as being in a small room. In a strong Red Zone state, you only experience the room, not you being in the room. Ironically, in this state, your awareness focuses increasingly on the ‘objects’ that keep you in the room, not those that can help you out of it.

Imagine, then, that while in this state you began ’scoping’ the room. Rotating slowly, seeing things you might have missed. This simple (but often not easy) shift in perspective allows you to both experience the room, and you in the room. Don’t be fooled – this is not a small shift, but a quantum change in perspective. It is the first and necessary step to creating an alternative outcome.

Amazingly, as you move more from being immersed in the Red Zone to observing yourself and your surrounds, your perception widens. The more you observe, the greater the distance you can observe from. To continue the metaphor, you now begin to see the room in house-plan view, along with other connecting rooms, even the whole building.

Observation is the key here: observation of yourself and of the ‘object’ or your Red Zone. the more you observe, the more you disengage your hard-wired habits of judging and emotional responses. The more you observe, the more you actually see (not what you were assuming you were seeing).

Try this with someone at work that you normally don’t have time for. In your next interaction with them, watch for expressions, inflections and emphases. Look for things that, until now, you had not seen before. Your old habitual thoughts and judgements might still be there, but let them come and go without ‘jumping on board’ with any of them.

Don’t be blinded by your emotions and habits. Think of an flight attendant saying “the exits are here, here and here”. Observation will illuminate your exits.

Further reading:http://healthmad.com/mental-health/physiology-of-anger/

Can’t decide?

Screen shot 2009-10-16 at 3.11.55 PMJonah Lehrer’s book the Decisive Moment gives strong insight into how we make decisions. Insight that helps to explain why we are at a turning point in human and societal development.

The instinctive decisions related to survival come out of our reptilian brain and are reasonably obvious. If we are about to be hit by a bus the decision to move out of the way is taken rapidly and instinctively. This part of our brain has had hundreds of millions of years of evolution and is very, very fast and efficient. From a conscious perspective these decisions just happen.

Our mammalian brain has had 65 million years to evolve an effective means of learning from experience. Many of our decisions come from this part of our brain and appear as feelings – something feels like the right thing to do (we also call this intuition). This covers a surprisingly large range of decisions. In effect, this part of our brain has a feel for anything we have experienced before and can synthesise a wide range of inputs into a single decision. It takes about 10,000 hours to become expert at something – typically taking ten years to accumulate so many hours – and once expert we “know” what the best course of action is. In a stable environment experts will provide the best decisions and we have relied heavily on experts in the past (and even now in many areas of life). A reliance on experts will show itself in a hierarchical model of organisation, the person higher up makes better decisions and thus should be deferred to, all the way up to the most powerful person at the pinnacle of the organisation or political system.

The neocortex is the third part of our decision-making apparatus that brings some very powerful tools including logic, calculation, extrapolation, modelling and metaphor. These are ideal for solving problems that we have not come across before. In effect, this allows us to create something, a solution, an idea, a process, a product that did not exist before. However, the neocortex is only about 100,000 years old – young in evolutionary terms – and remains energy intensive and not very efficient, for example we can only hold about four variables in memory at one time. Thus if we have a new, complex problem (i.e. with many more than four variables) the only way we can solve it is through a collaborative process involving diverse views – sufficiently diverse that all variables are held by someone – and an environment in which all views are properly aired and then synthesised into a solution that no individual would be likely to come to by themselves but is accepted by all participants as the best solution. This is a distinct departure from relying on experts and leads to organisational forms that are much more inclusive, collaborative and flatter – or networked – in structure.

One of the difficulties for the individual is to know when to use which decision-making process. Buying a house we should rely on feel (too many variables but a well known problem). Buying a corkscrew we should rely on logic (ease of use, look, price, perhaps being the variables you might use). From a societal point of view, when we move from a stable environment to one in which the problems we face are predominantly new, how do we change our organisational forms in a timely way?

As a world we now face issues and problems that we have not faced before: peak oil, aging populations, limits to growth, climate change and rapid technological change. To solve the problems that these issues create we need new organisational forms. These forms ARE struggling to emerge but are being limited by old organisational forms and their embodied decision-making processes trying to maintain the status quo, sometimes harshly. The best decision? Keep on plugging away building the new!

The Success Zone publishing updates

The Success Zone

The Success Zone

Our new book, “The Success Zone” is in its final processes of publishing and should be available for sale later this month (Oct 09).

Pre orders are available at http://www.gr8education.com/book/thesuccesszone.html